Afternoon Champagne Beaker
Afternoon Champagne Beaker

Afternoon Champagne Beaker

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Because 2.3 billion people are drinkers. And you’re one of them.

How much champagne is the right amount to drink at 3 p.m. on a Thursday when you’ve had it up to HERE with everyone and everything? This vessel decants without judgement. Some might say, “Champagne is for amateurs, let’s switch to tequila.” Not me, of course, but someone might say that. That someone probably is the bartender at Dante’s I thought was cute the year after my divorce, which now just makes me cringe with the realization that all newly divorced people should spend the first year in seclusion. Anyway! For those who want to hang onto their jobs/hold out the (false) hope that they’ll get any work done afterwards, this beaker lets you measure your alcohol consumption in a measured fashion. Also can be used for science, but let’s get real. 

  • Small spout for pouring down the hatch
  • Glass shatters musically on concrete floors
  • Accurate to within ~10%, but you’re just going to fill it to the top, aren’t you?
  • Also compatible with bourbon, vodka, gin, Everclear, Jagermeister, et al.

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